Exercise & Mom Guilt

So there is this thing every new mom gets called Mom Guilt. Its where you feel a little guilty for doing the things you like/love by sacrificing time with you little one.

I deal with mom guilt on weekly bases. Mainly when I come home from work and want/need to get something done before I pick her up. Resulting in her being in daycare for another hour. What I want to do is usually just go for a jog before it gets dark but sometimes its even just replying to emails uninterrupted. I feel bad about leaving her in daycare longer but I also need to run to feel good about myself. I know it sounds a little selfish but I worked really hard to get the body I had before I got pregnant and I really want that body back!

I ran with her in the jogging stroller for the first time over the weekend and it went well, although she did not love it - she mean-mugged me the WHOLE time. I think it was because we were on the sidewalk and its pretty bumpy in the stroller. So next time we'll try the road. And pushing the stroller added almost 2 minutes to my mile! But it just adds to the workout I suppose.

Although feeling guilty may be a side effect of alone time or quality time with your spouse its SUPER important for you to be the best you at all times and to be the best me I need to work out. And I think my daughter seeing me be active from a young age is really important and hopefully she will grow up loving fitness like I do. I cant wait to get her in swim classes!

hope y'all have a great weekend!

9 Month Update

Previous Updates: 8 Months | 7 Months | 6 Months | 5 Months | 4 Months

Time surely flies when you have a little one in your house. They grow so quickly its truly amazing to see and watch.So much has changed since the 8 month update. And I am already starting to plan her 1st birthday! 

Alana (16lbs 9oz)

Alana is continuing to crawl EVERYWHERE and tries to follow us where ever we go. She has started to clap on her own and LOVES it! She is generally such a happy baby and is always smiling! She is still only in the 23rd percentile for her weight but that is a big accomplishment since she started in the 0.06th percentile! 

Mom & Dad (Alexa & Matt)

We are doing well. We have a date night once a month which is good for our sanity. We have our first weekend away planned which will be fun, interesting and nerve racking all at the same time.

The Dogs
I posted about how we re-homed Coco and then, not even a month later we lost our sweet Lola. It has been a really hard time for me and I have cried many, many times about it. Its so strange not having a dog in the house...we will eventually get another furbaby but it probably wont be until close to the end of the year. Before we had a bulldog I never wanted to have the same breed twice because I felt like I would be replacing the dog I had (growing up we had a mutt, dalmatian and dachshund). But any bulldog owner will tell you that the breed touches your heart like nothing else; now I can't imagine my life without a bulldog in it.

City Break: Boston

We have a trip to Boston coming up quick! Its going to be here before we know it and I haven't really done too much planning for it (SHOCKER! that's not sarcasm). We planned this trip because we had 2 free nights with Hyatt via their credit card and tickets to Boston were SUPER cheap! I had put an alert on a few locations and Boston was the only one that had flights within our budget. And lucky for us, we scored some Hyatt gift cards to cover the rest of our weekend!

This will be our first over night without Alana (well, besides the 2 nights we were home and she was in the NICU). I have to admit, I am getting a little nervous and anxious about it. We're going to be gone for 3 nights and we do want this to be a relaxing trip where we can sleep in and enjoy being together and that is why I haven't planned much. Here is what I got:

{source}

Day 1: We arrive on a Friday mid-afternoon and after checking into the hotel I figured we could walk around Boston Common and maybe start the Freedom Trail and then get some dinner and drinks and call it a night.

Day 2: We have a food tour planned. We haven't done a food tour before and I hear this is a pretty good one (you'll have to wait for the actual post to see which one we did). Plus its a good way to try a little something from all the good restaurants. Since there is no WAY we could go to all of them for meals in such short amount of time. Some of the food tour is on the Freedom Trail so we'll cover more of that then and then we'll wrap up the rest of the trail on our own.

Day 3: I would like to cross the Charles River and check out MIT and Harvard's campuses. Maybe I will soak in some more intellect! :P This might take a good portion of the day since we'll be using public transportation. I would also like to try and head to Fenway Park. And then in the evening we'll be watching Super Bowl 50 - anybody know of a good place to watch it?

Day 4: We head out; our flight is at 11am but I want to make sure we have plenty of time to get there since we're relying on public transportation and good weather conditions.

p.s. This will be my first post about our travels on this blog! You can check out our other travels from the past on travel mi amor.

I'll See You Again My Sweet Lola

This past Friday, for a brief moment, started like any other day. We woke up, woke the baby up and I went to check on Lola and clean up her mess (her heart meds made her pee all the time so we had pee pads down for her at night). She had made a pretty big mess (I was never mad, she couldn't help it), I said, "Oh, Lola. You made a big mess." I turned to look at her and she didn't seem responsive, then I touched her face and knew...she had passed. Our sweet girl had gone to doggy heaven.

I had posted back in November that she wasn't doing well but after our visit to the cardiologist on New Years Eve I was feeling optimistic. And Lola was starting to act like her old self. But I guess there wasn't much we could do any more. My heart is truly broken as this chapter of our lives closes. I randomly cry during the day, mainly when I come home and she isn't there to greet me like she always did. I cry sometime when I walk past where she should be. Sometimes I think I hear her snorting or I think I hear the bells she would ring to go outside.

Rest in Peace my darling Lola, I will forever miss you and your sweet, sweet face. 

Sept. 1, 2009 - Jan. 15, 2016

{Her first and last Christmas, she always loved being by or under the tree}

{Showing her love for the covers! This is the last photo we took of her, 1/10/2016}

HOLY Crap!

As my title states this weekend was pretty chaotic (and a reason why there was no post on Monday). Friday night was great, I went to a neighborhood ladies bunco night and then Saturday morning I went for a jog with one of the ladies. When I came back from my jog my husband said he wasn't feeling well and went back to bed...for the rest of the day!

My original plans for Saturday involved me using some gift cards and shopping at the mall but that did not happen. Y'all, I seriously don't know how single parents do it. Especially when the babies are young and can be very needy. Since I didn't want to stay cooped up in the house all day Alana and I went to Target, her first shopping trip with JUST mommy. It worked out pretty well, I wore her and had my cross body purse and her diaper bag. Here is the truth - we never really take Alana anywhere with us, we just find it easier not to. She just comes with so much baggage. And having to feed her on an outing usually doesn't work since she is so distracted by everything. I think I can count how many times we have taken her out somewhere with us, its definitely less than 10 times (not including doctor visits and photography shoots).

On Sunday my husband was feeling a little better and was able to watch Alana while I went shopping for clothes and groceries. But then Sunday night Alana wasn't feeling well, throwing up her bottle and food and then not wanting to sleep unless she was being held. Since my husband's stomach was still iffy I slept with her on the recliner. I never get good sleep if I am sleeping with her. I always worry about her falling off or burying her face into me or some blankets. So I'm only like half asleep and then waking up every 30 mins or so to see how she is doing. My fitbit said I only got 5 hours of sleep but I only got a sold 1 hour from 5-6am when my husband woke up to feed her while I got some shut eye.

So HOLY crap I was tired Monday! I also think I did like 5 loads of laundry because she kept spitting up on everything... life as a mom... its crazy but one look at her and you know its all worth it.

{Left: Target visit, Right: Cooking with Alana (our new TV show)}

Happy Hump Day!!

Why We Surrendered Our Dog After Almost 4 Years

I was really hesitant about writing this post, I didn’t know if I wanted to let the world know what we did or what lead to the decision. And then I saw an article on Yahoo! and it made me feel like it was okay in a way – we weren’t the only ones. And then I read this one and my insides were ripped out! But that article was written to make you feel bad, when sometimes the situation isn't what is best for the dog. 

Coco was my 2^nd wedding anniversary present. I had always talked about getting another dog. But since Lola had your typical bulldog problems (ear infections, skin issues and a heart condition) my husband thought an Olde English Bulldogg would be a good idea; she would look sort of like a bulldog but not have as many health issues. And maybe it was our mistake for getting a dog that wasn't as lazy a regular English Bulldog. 

Something we had to think about and consider when we had a baby was that Coco's personality is that of a 55lbs puppy. She is always going FULL steam ahead! She runs around the house, running into things and sometimes running into us. All I can imagine is our daughter walking around and being trampled by Coco – it’s not something I want to imagine but I have to be honest with myself; that scenario is 99.9% going to happen.

I am not going to get into all the details of it all but with Lola's heart condition and with Alana staring to crawl Coco was spending 12+ hours a day in her kennel and that is not fair to her. Since Alana started to crawl and the weather is cool I have been taking Coco on long walks to get her out of the house and out of her kennel.

We thought the best thing for her was to find her a new home through a bulldog rescue group. This was something I never thought I, a dog and animal lover, would EVER do. I feel like I am giving up on a child and I have been having such a hard time with it. But it is what it is and we need to do what is best for her. 

Now I am not saying what we are doing isn’t hard but life without her will become increasingly easier. We’ll have our dining room back (we’ll just move Lola in the laundry room. Coco had to see Lola to feel comfortable). We won’t be embarrassed to have company come over (Coco would always bark very loudly whenever anyone entered the house). And we can repaint the walls to get rid of all the droll markings (Lola doesn’t really droll). 

We found Coco a VERY loving home in Dallas (probably a better home for her than what we could have ever provided for her) and I made the difficult drop off on 12/20. I cried for about 30 minutes after it happened and I still cry when I think about. My heart literally ached when I dropped her off. I have seen pictures of her new home, family and playmate. She seems happy and loved which is all I want for her. I hope that if I am ever in Dallas I can stop by and see her. 

Insert Dolly Parton's I will Always Love You here...Coco-Mo-Jojo (my nickname for her) I miss you!

Changing the Function of an IKEA Kallax

I have been really bad about sharing our DIY and inexpensive creations for our daughter's room. But here is how we turned an IKEA Kallax into a functional changing table that can then just turn back into storage space.

First you need the Kallax. Then you'll need the inserts for it; we went with 2 drawer inserts (creating 4 drawers) and then 2 cabinet inserts. We also added some feet to the bottom to give it some height so it would be a little taller for the "changing table" purpose. I bought new nobs for it from Hobby Lobby and some cubby baskets from The Land of Nod. For the diaper organizers on top I found these cute boxes at The Container Store that matched perfectly and were WAY cheaper than the diaper caddies they sell at baby stores.

All the hidden storage space hides her diapers and wipes and things of that nature while the cubbies hold books and shoes and then the baskets hold all her toys.

I love that this will have a purpose after we are done changing diapers. We can take the inserts out and turn it on its side if we want or it can stay as is; there are so many possibilities with IKEA's furniture!

...Hello 2016!

Goodbye 2015 and Hello 2016! Hope your New Year is off to a great start! Ours is, Alana slept through the night on her new feeding schedule (we went from 5 feedings per day to 4).

2016 will bring so many milestones for our family. Alana will start walking, she will say her first words, she'll turn one! We're going to start swim lessons! It will be amazing!

I also have a Travel Wishlist for 2016! We will be heading to Boston early THIS year (cant believe its already 2016!) and I would like to take Alana to a nice beach so a trip to Florida is needed but I'm not sure when. And we would like to get back to doing Thanksgiving away but I'm not sure where we'll head. See our previous Thanksgivings here: Key West, Hawaii 2011, Hawaii 2012. We stopped this tradition in 2013 because we bought a house, in 2014 I was pregnant with horrible morning sickness and 2015 was Alana's first Thanksgiving so we wanted to spend it with family. But hopefully in 2016 we'll be someplace new :)

{Boston Source - Destin Source}

I also hope to keep the baby weight loss journey going, I have 5 more pounds and it will all be gone. Hoping it will be gone by her first birthday. I got a fitbit for Christmas and I have already noticed that I am pretty much inactive during the work week because I just sit at my desk all day. I need to make it a better habit of taking the stairs (p.s. I work on the 4th floor).

Hope your 2016 Wishlist comes to fruition! Have a great and amazing weekend y'all!

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